fever and selfishness

It is the so early in the morning and I can't sleep, I have been awake forever. Josh wasn't feeling good last night and I checked him and he is burning up. He says he doesn't hurt anywhere, but he is very hot to the touch. For some reason I am missing the thermometer-I'm thinking Cassandra? Serenity? might have borrowed it for the grandkids. I will call Donnell in a few minutes when he gets off and ask him to pick one up on his way home.
My mom is still in the hospital and they are hoping to do the angiogram(sp) today, they have been giving her meds to keep her kidneys going so they can do the test. I talked to her Monday night, worried about her, and when I called Tuesday night and found out they kept her, my heart felt heavy. I thought that I was able to face whatever would come, I had had the best time ever with her this past August. I had felt so good after being with her and having a good visit really talking and getting past stories and such, that I told Donnell if Heavenly Father thought it would be time then I thought I would be ok, very sad, but a little more at peace. I have realized I am not ok with it, I just want to be selfish and have her here. I curled up in bed and prayed, I don't want her to go, she is my mom and I want to be able to call her, tell her I love her, get excited with her over her cards she is making, laugh with her over the funny things my grandbabies do, put her on speaker phone so she feels like she is here visiting with us-THAT is what I want. Mom will be 83 this month, I have been gathering a few things for a birthday box, and true to form-I have not mailed it yet! I want her to be able to celebrate many more years-is this selfish? I HATE living this far from her, I told Donnell that if the market was better, i would be ok selling and moving as close as I could so I would be able to help, but it is just not possible with all the turmoil in the real estate market. I talked to Glen last night and they are hoping to do the angiogram this morning, hopefully they will be able to do the test. Glen is not doing very well either and I worry about him also. He is a good good man, I couldn't ask for anyone nicer for my mom or to have as a stepfather. He always makes me feel special. I'm hoping he gets the results from all his tests back today.
It is time to go call my honey, he is on his way home from work, and I need to take care of my boy. He may be thirteen but he will always be my baby! On a lighter note-Serenity says he wis going to live with me until he is 50!!! This being said because he doesn't like to spend the night at hers or Cassandra's house. I told her he goes on campouts and goes for a week to Boy Scout Camp and does fine, she said well he might be ready for his mission then!!!!!LOL
Love to all!